Some pain never ends !

Sometimes it feels like i want to die ,, Because i miss you so much !

When i last my mom and dad i thought that was the worst ever that nothing can hurt that much .

It was a pain so beyond everything i ever felt . And i was  so lost ,  i last everything safe and diden`t have anyone to turn too anymore .. I was alone Totally alone ..

I still miss my parents specially my mom i think of her almost everyday , and if she had been here with us she had been 70 this Sunday .. But Shes not ..

When you are young you don `t understand everything and sometimes you are hard to your parents only see all there mistakes and don`t see everything that is good what they actually did for you ..

But you see that much more clearly when you grow up , and you can also understand things better why they maybe did like they did in some moments ..

And when you have kids of your own you understand even better specially when they are teenagers it is not always so easy to be a mother of a teenager ..

Specially not one alone mother !

How ever ,, the pain and the sadness never dies , i think i really lost a peace of myself that never can be replaced ..

But , there is one more pain that is worse  ,  , , and that is sometimes to much !!

It is  so more then to much , after the latest " thing "  that happen that i really cant take this anymore ..

I have to say goodbye to you , maybe not for ever , but for now , because you will kill me  one day if i don`t .. 
I can`t  take this anymore , i have no strength left ,, and i have to take care of my self ..
You have people all around you that "helps" you and support you in the way they believe is right ..
So you will be Okey ,,  the question is , will i ?

Well time will tell ,,  This is the worst thing  i ever done ,, but i have to !

And its not only you , i have to say goodbye to the ones that are around you too ..
I cant have any connection with you left ..

So ,, Im Sorry my love ,, but i have too ,, its the only way for me to survive this ! 


I did tell you , if you continue this little game of yours that this will happen one day , and now it has ! 

Its all over , now !

But i do have Beautiful Memories , and i will keep them in my heart for ever ! 



Maybe i see you one day but that will be one day far from now ..

I hope you be ok , and that you take good care of yourself ,, i will try do the same ! 


I Love you <3